Chapter: It's My Birthday!
Yes, it's my birthday, blablabla... For the most part, no matter how difficult things have been, I have generally always felt excited around this time of the year.
This year is a little bit different, though. I am simply thankful to be physically present and breathing. I will, as usual, take some time to thank my mother for bringing me forth and then actually raising me despite the many challenges that a single black woman has to face, in a society that has no desire to see or acknowledge her or her little ones.
Beyond those thoughts, I am trying to see if I can access the beauty that some claim to see within me, while simultaneously undergoing many dramatic changes that affect the very fiber of my character.
I don't even think I recognize my reflection sometimes; I just know I want to be there when I become everything I am supposed to be according to the vision created by the design of my very fragile mind.
So, this birthday is not special because it's January 13, a reminder of the day I was born. Or because, yay, it's "Capricorn season", blablabla.
This day is only special because I am still here; and despite the many "L's" I've swallowed, without enthusiasm, I am still here. This has to be enough. It's not the gift I was aiming for, but it's what I've got. I'm what I've got.
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